Two Women, One Conversation, and the Unfinished Work of Thriving
- Tallulah Patricia B
- Apr 9
- 7 min read
With Love, Respect and in Admiration, by Tallulah Patricia Bär
We weren’t on a panel.
We weren’t pitching, performing, or proving.
We weren’t facilitating space for others.
We were just two women—one, an American of African descent who happens to live in Switzerland, the other, Swiss-born and navigating the intersections of multiple worlds. Two women who are constantly working, constantly building, constantly being called to show up.
But today, we were catching up—privately.
And yet, even in the intimacy of that moment, there was something profound about it—so much so that I can’t help but write about it.
What began as a simple check-in quickly unraveled into something deeper: an exploration of self, power, presence, and the unspoken architecture of ambition.
What It Means to Work Twice as Hard—And Then Some
There is a weight to being a Black woman in Switzerland that is difficult to articulate. It makes me think of the weight African mothers carry when they tie their babies to their backs—the warmth of flesh pressed against flesh, the firm knot of fabric, the careful balancing of movement.
The weight is not just physical; it is ancestral, cultural, and deeply symbolic. Wrapped in fabric, the child moves as the mother moves—witnessing, absorbing, adapting. She works, she walks, she does—because there is no other choice but continuation.
This act fosters connection, exposing the newborn to the rhythms of life while embodying the resilience of carrying on, no matter the burden. And in many ways, that is what it means to navigate certain spaces as an African woman—not just to exist within them, but to perform, to prove, and to command recognition in a world largely defined by white spaces never designed with us in mind.
It is not just about navigating predominantly white spaces; it is about the performance required to be recognized in them.
The careful calculation of how much presence is too much.
The hyper-awareness of when to push and when to pause.
The subtle exhaustion of always being grateful for access that others take for granted.
Eleanor and I have both played this game in different ways. And now, we are both unlearning it. Because access is not the same as power, and exhaustion is not a strategy.
“You have to know what you need,” she said, and she wasn’t talking about career moves or networking tactics—she was talking about survival, about preservation, about learning to stop before depletion becomes the default.
And yet, I wondered—how do you dare to share this with women who have only ever known persistence? How do you rewrite the script for those whose existence has always been framed as resilience?
The Woman Who Wears Many Hats
Eleanor is not just one thing—she is many.
She is an American of African descent, carrying the weight of multiple cultural identities and moving through the world with the kind of fluidity that is both a privilege and a burden.
She is a daughter, a professor, a CEO, a mentor, a leader.
She is Dr. Eleanor, a scholar, a strategist, a force in spaces where few like her exist.
She is a woman who has learned to carry her power differently in different rooms, who knows when to lean in and when to pull back.
To exist in all these roles simultaneously requires a level of mastery that many will never understand. It is to juggle expectations while carrying the invisible weight of representation. It is to move between spaces with agility, code-switching between boardrooms, classrooms, and personal life with the precision of someone who knows that in certain rooms, a misstep is not just personal—it is political.
Beyond Visibility: The Politics of Unapologetic Presence
CEO, Dr. Elly didn’t go to Davos this year. She didn’t accept every invitation, every panel, every opportunity that might have looked good on paper but didn’t align with what she actually needed.
It was intentional.
In a world that equates visibility with relevance, she chose something different—control.
It made me question the way we are conditioned to believe that presence itself is an achievement. That to be seen is to be valuable.
But what if real power is knowing when to retreat?
We are not just here to be visible. We are here to be of service to the mission of the women who came before us, the women who are surrounding us. The women who are to come, when we are long gone.
To move with intention.
To build legacy, not just leverage.
To stop treating our presence as a favor to spaces that barely make room for us.
AfroSwissters: A Spectrum of Afro Swiss Influence
As we spoke, I thought about the women in AfroSwissters—the spectrum of influence that stretches across generations, industries, and ambitions.
Some are entrepreneurs, building businesses that bridge Switzerland and the continent.
Some are professionals, rising through the ranks in corporations that were never designed for them.
Some are creatives, rewriting narratives through art, fashion, and storytelling.
Some are still discovering their power, still learning that they are allowed to want more.
And that is the beauty of it. AfroSwissters is not just about creating community; it is about creating infrastructure.
A space where ambition is not the exception but the expectation.
A space where thriving is not an individual pursuit but a collective responsibility.
Because too many of us have been raised to survive, to settle, to be grateful for whatever seat we are offered at the table.
But what if we want to own the building?
What if we want to redesign the entire system?
What if we refuse to be merely accommodated?
AfroSwissters exists in that space—between the what is and the what could be. Between the legacy of survival and the architecture of ownership.
ETK Leadership: A New Model of Power and Positioning
And then there is ETK Leadership—an entirely different but deeply complementary space.
If AfroSwissters is about building a foundation, ETK Leadership is about scaling that foundation into something undeniable.
ETK Leadership is not about proving potential—it is about activating it. It is a space for women who are not just seeking access, but who are ready to move with authority once they step inside.
Here, power is not abstract—it is engineered.
The women in this space are not waiting for permission to lead.
They are already leaders, already visionaries, already carrying the weight of responsibility in high-stakes environments. The work ETK does is about refinement, elevation, and positioning at the highest levels.
It is about answering the question: How do we go beyond ambition and into real influence?
The women in this space are CEOs of multi-million-dollar companies, diplomats, strategists, and entrepreneurs who are not merely climbing the ladder but owning the institutions they engage with.
They are not just navigating existing power structures—they are learning how to reshape them. And that, I realized, is the difference between entry and ownership.
AfroSwissters is the space where we create a pipeline for more women to believe in their own power. ETK Leadership is the space where those who have already stepped into that power refine it, unapologetically weaponize it, and make it impossible to ignore.
Both are necessary.
Both are game-changing.
And both, I thought, are part of the real work—building beyond survival, beyond representation, beyond access.
Love, Leadership, and the Quiet Revolution of Choosing Yourself
We talked about relationships, too. About the delicate balance of being a woman who is both admired and expected to be accommodating.
Eleanor has been with her partner for some time now.
Quietly. Intentionally. Without spectacle.
It made me think about the politics of love for women like us—women who are expected to lead in public and somehow shrink in private.
Women whose confidence is celebrated in theory but too often tested in practice.
How do you build a relationship that holds all of you—the ambition, the softness, the sharp edges, the tired days, the restless nights?
How do you avoid the trap of being with men who love the idea of you but not the responsibility of actually knowing you?
We spoke about boundaries, about choosing a partner who does not see you as an asset to be displayed but as a person to be cherished. And it made me think:
How many women spend years in relationships that demand their dimming instead of their expansion?
How many mistake being chosen for being understood?
And how many of us have finally realized that love should not feel like another space where we have to negotiate our worth?
From Survival to Ownership
For so long, the women before us fought for survival.
For access.
For the right to exist without disruption.
But we are not here to survive.
We are here to own.
To own our work.
To own our time.
To own our presence.
To own the fact that we are not lucky to be here—we belong here.
And so, after an hour of conversation, I sat with everything we had unpacked.
The questions of legacy.
The urgency of rest.
The need for structures that hold us, not just spaces that tolerate us.
Because at the end of the day, we were just two women in Switzerland, catching up.
But we were also something more:
Women who are rewriting the rules.
Before we said goodbye, Dr. Elly reminded me of something vital—that transformation requires intention, not just inspiration. Through ETK Leadership Solutions, she’s created a space for women to move beyond the illusion of access and into the architecture of real power.
Her signature programs are crafted for leaders ready to stop performing and start embodying. For women who no longer want to adapt to systems that weren’t built for them—but who are ready to redesign them entirely.
If you're seeking not just to lead but to lead with alignment, not just to be seen but to be strategic, not just to rise but to rise well—ETK Leadership is the room you’ve been waiting for.
Learn more and take your seat with intention at www.etkleadershipsolutions.com
Because this moment—this legacy—is ours to shape.
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